Okay, Okay....I am clearly sucking at the blog-thing. I think the problem is that I'm just not used to having to do it on a specific day. That and the fact that I normally work on Saturdays until 10:30 pm, and my brain is just fried after dealing with customers all day. No excuse, though. I work this Saturday, too, but I will make sure to post before I go to work. I promise!!
So, what's been going on with me since the last entry? Hm...Well, Audrey is back from visiting Indiana, which is good. I missed her a lot. It was nice to be able to sleep all night, and not have to worry about being home at any specific time, but it was weird not having her around. Now, I just have to make it until March, when Isabel will be back, too! I saw Jon last Tuesday, when I got Audrey from the airport. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. I could tell he was a little nervous. I just keep waiting for him to yell at me, or something, but I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't do that. Even if he wanted to. He's just not a yeller. But we talked about the girls, our moms, people who were driving us crazy. It was fine. I did tell him about how I have a boyfriend. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want him to hear it from someone else. That would be way worse. I'm sure he didn't want to hear it, but he needs to know who is spending time around the girls. I mean, I would want to know if he had a girlfriend who was hanging around Isabel all the time. Of course, in Rochester, the chances of me personally knowing someone he ends up dating are pretty good. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Anyway, he took the news pretty well, and I think that Jon and I are going to be able to raise the girls together without fighting. I hope so, anyway. The biggest hurdle we face right now is the fact that I'm in Texas and he's in Indiana.
I know that he wants me to move closer so that he can see the girls more often. And he's right. I should. The only thing stopping me? I HATE WINTER. No, I should re-phrase that...I hate snow, and ice, and being cold....I hate waking up and it's so cold that the thought of getting out of bed makes you cringe...I hate having the wind cut through you, no matter how thick your coat is...I hate having to wear coats, boots, gloves, etc...I hate that the sky is juts this white/grey color and the world looks like all the life has been sucked out of it...I hate the slush, the ice patches, the runny noses, the numb fingers...ugh. Are you getting the point here? Indiana has SIX MONTHS where is it completely plausible that it could snow. October to April. Anytime within those months, and no one would be surprised to have freezing temperatures and snow. That makes me nauseous.
I do miss my friends and family that are up there. But the weather. God, I do not miss the weather. And I know, you find things to do inside. Yeah, I like being out in the sunshine. I don't want to be cooped up indoors half the year. But, I also have to realize that Isabel and Audrey need to know their dad and his family. The only option to moving to Indiana, is to realize that I will pretty much be missing every Christmas, Audrey's birthday, and Isabel's birthday for the next who knows how many years. I'm not okay with that. Yes, I know we could switch off, but then when would he see them? It just happens that their birthdays and Christmas (obviously) are during breaks from school, when they can go up there for extended visits. If they skip a Christmas, when would they go to see him? You get what I'm saying? The only option is to be closer. If I'm closer, then they can have more frequent, but shorter visits...this way I don't have to have my 2 year old away from me for 3 months...which I hate. Ugh, but moving back to Indiana? I so don't want to. It would be great to be able to see my friends, and family, but I don't even know where I'd want to live. It would mostly depend on where Audrey went to school. So, we're probably looking at Indianapolis...unless we do Chicago.
The biggest hurdle right now will be money. I have none. Not even enough to get my own apartment right now, let alone move across the country and get an apartment. I have a feeling that this move won't be happening for a while. I'm not saying it will never happen, but Audrey at least has to finish school, so we're looking at June. And I don't know that I'll have money to move by then, to be honest. I would say that the move probably wouldn't happen for another year from June. Yeah, Jon's gonna love that. But I'm sorry, I have to figure out how to do this...and when you have a kid in school AND they have special needs, you can't just send them to a new school.
Alright, I feel that I have thoroughly discussed this topic to death :) Poor Pete is going to read this and think, "I thought this was already what was decided...why did she just spend about half an hour re-discussing and deciding, only to come to the same conclusion??" Yeah, sorry, sweetie...that's just me.
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